On Saturday, 9/24/25- I had an asthma attack with a Pulse ox of 74.
At the local emergency room, they were immediately responsive. Took me to the back to start treatment. They also check my fingers, toes, heels, & for wounds. I thought it was for infectious diseases but apparently they thought or ruling out I was overdosing. To place the leads, they exposed my breast.
ER team was skilled-overall. I recovered in a hour or so with pulse ox over 98.
What I didn't share was I was only asked ONCE if touching me was okay. I was alert, coherent, and while laboring in my breathing was not distressed.
Resident had me stay overnight for observation.
Also- I had an abnormal EKG that I wasn't advised of til the next morning, after a second test showed similar results.
At the hospital:
Hospital resident was fine. However, a 30-ish yo white nurse called me “girl” in that trying to build rapport instead of being just a professional. The attending doctor remarked how close in age my daughter and I looked then questioned my knowing of my health.
The attending doctor could not believe I had asthma and “I can not treat you for fo asthma because there is no official diagnosis” and discounted the impact of long-term COVID-19.
She questioned:
“How do you know you have asthma?”
Well- the same damn way I know I am allergic to pencillin.
So -in my mind, are you also going to discard my report of my allergies.
I have never been seen in this hospital system for asthma bc I “outgrew it”.
Instead of asking pointed questions:
“When or where were you first diagnosed?”
“How has your asthma been as an adult?”
She shook her head in frustration, raising her hands to her temples. Visibly bothered that she was missing something, and honestly treating me like I was lying about my health.
And-I let her trip over her lips as I knew she could not make sense of my existence or health.
I am 52 and have no issues with my asthma as an adult, other than exercise-induced or allergies.
All of my asthma care and under 19 care happened on military bases bc my Dad is retired Air Force.
This civilian non-profit hospital has never treated me for asthma but has treated me for my hysterectomy.
So- I know there is a record of my asthma and my allergies but this doctor’s questioning was something dangerous.
She then explained my abnormal EKG was due to “your anxiety because you could not breath.”
I replied- “ I did not have anxiety.”
She repeated this 3 times ignoring me telling her I did not have anxiety nor an anxiety attack.
I explained I understand how to care for myself to not make my asthma worse.
So, no, I was not experiencing anxiety.
Delaware is a medical refugee state for queer people and others fleeing medical repression.
That interaction with the doctor felt unsafe- was unsafe. This past August, in the Delaware Journal for Public Health, I literally just published my first peer-reviewed article about provider capacity and health outcomes.
The article is open access. Get yours here.
This experience and the research were right:
Racial & gender microaggressions and patient disrespect do not belong in our hospitals.
AND....
My POV on my life has shifted bc what used to matter no longer does & what matters matters more.
It’s one thing to listen to your body’s wisdom and it’s another thing to respond to that wisdom.
I thought I was doing really well in caring for myself until this experience showed me how I didn’t prioritize myself.
I am experiencing a type of surrender I can’t explain.
I can only BE.
As a patient, I had no desire to be a trainer pointing out racial and gender micro and macro aggressions.
And while parts of this lived medical experience were frustrating, I know my SHIFT Healing Practice with these medical practices saved my life.
My heart health now shows my blood pressure is mildly high (again). It wasn't during the time I lived abroad.
It's a wake-up call, tho.
As a lover, I have no desire to do anything other than live erotically and do so in community with others.
My heart is telling me how.
Below are my invitations to you to join me.
Click the photos to register.
Bonus Announcement: The full version of the SHIFT book is NOW AVAILABLE Digitally.
Get your copy with the SHIFT Wellness Plan.
Use code SHIFTBOOK for a special discount.
Use code EROSPIRITUALITY73 for a special discount for one of the intensives, Authentic Consent or Healing the Erotic Self.
Til next time!
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